Invader Zimmy and the Holy Pail!
by Invader Anonymous
Summary: Gee...can we guess what THIS story is about? Heehee...you will only get it if you've seen Monty Python and the Holy Grail. My first attempt at a Parody...don't eat me. Just read...


**Disclaimer:**  Wow…I've really gone story mad.  This'n is a parody.  NEVER FEAR!  I'm still workin' on all the other stories TOO!  WHOOOO!  I do not own Invader Zim, nor do I own Johnny the Homicidal Maniac and all related characters.  However, the almighty Jhonen Vasquez does.  Heh…I just use them for my own evil creations.  **laughs stupidly**  Hey!  I was supposed to laugh evilly there…stupid…key things…I also do not own the movie Monty Python and the Holy Grail.  Heh…a parody of a parody…this'n should be interesting…

**Invader Zimmy and the Holy Pail:**

            The distinct clop-clop of a horse's hooves trotting along the ground is heard in the distance.  The scenery is very foggy and musty.  It looks somewhat like the English Country Side.  The heads of two small figures can be seen lurking over a hill, their heads bobbing up and down as if they were riding horses.  As they clear the hill, you see no horses, but the figures trotting, acting as if they were riding horses.

            They are both green skinned, and the smaller one (who is pounding two coconuts together to make it sound like a horse trotting) slightly resembles a dog.  The one in front is wearing a crooked crown that is wobbling around his antennae, his large buggy eyes peering through the mists.

            They both slow down as a castle magically appears in front of them.  Zim holds up one of his leather-clad claws to the small dog behind him and shrieks "Stop!  THE ZIM COMMANDS YOU!"  Gir drops the coconuts and looks down at them.  He just stares.  Zim raises an invisible eyebrow at the android.  He coughs impatiently.  Gir grabs the coconuts and eats one of the halves, creating a loud OMF! sound.  

            A soldier peers from the top of the castle.  You see it is Torque Smackey.  He starts to speak with an obviously fake English accent, "HALT!  Who goes there?"

            Zim lets out a snort and his crown falls off.  He picks it up quickly and plops it back down on his large green head.  "It is I, inferior human organism!  The almighty ZIM!  Lord of the humans, defeater of worms!  Fear meeee!"

            Torque points to Gir, "And who be he?"

            Zim looks at the android, who has devoured both coconut halves and is chewing on his foot.  "He is…uh…he followed me here.  I do not know who he is!  But we have ridden here from the castle of Cammylot in search for slaves for my pentagon coffee table (A/N Cammy is my name…heehee)…I have come to speak with your lord!"

            "What?  Ridden on horses?"

            Zim blinks and looks to Gir, who just shrugs.  Zim looks back to Torque, "…yes"

            "But you're using coconuts!  Eh…were…"

            "So?  We've ridden since the white flaky stuff covered the land!  We've come from-"

            Torque interrupts Zim, "Where'dya get the coconuts?   I need to lift stuff…coconuts would be good…"

            "We conquered them!"

            "Conquered them?"  Torque raised an eyebrow.  "But the coconut is tropical!"

            "What's that have to do with conquering?  So you think the Zim is not capable of conquering the tropical?  HAH!  You speak nonsense human!"  Zim pointed angrily up at Torque.  

            "I'm simply saying that this is a temperate zone, and coconuts are tropical." 

            "Swallows fly!" Gir piped up.

            "Look," growled Zim, obviously agitated, "can I just speak with the lord of the castle!  Your resistance will be noted!"

            The soldier ignored Zim and looked at Gir.  "Are you saying that coconuts fly?"

            "They might be…" Gir pondered the thought.

            Zim looked at Gir.  "Not be a fly!  FLY!  Like a bird."

            "BIRDS?!  AIEEEEEEE!"  Gir dove under Zim, his fear for birds overwhelming.

            Another soldier, Zita, stepped up beside Torque.  "What's this about coconuts flying?  You seem more crazy than normal today…"

            Torque pointed to Zim.  "He's saying that coconuts flew 'ere from the north an…"

            Zim had already left, grabbing Gir by the paw and dragging him away.  "Well…now we don't have a coconuts or a horse…" he mumbled angrily.

            There is a close up of the deformed face of Keef.  It sways back and forth.  The camera zooms out, revealing Miss Bitters pushing a large cart with dead people hanging off of it.  Various skool children are on the cart.  A small sign is shoved in between the bodies that reads:  The result of corn and ketchup.  Miss Bitters squeeks a moose toy and shrieks, "Bring out yer dead!" simultaneously.

            She pushes the cart, repeating the mantra over and over.  In the background, Happy Noodle boy is beating a small, deformed child against a dusty carpet.  The kid is making cat noises every time he hits the carpet.  "Bring out yer dead!" Miss Bitters repeats.

            Tallest Purple comes out of the house, dragging the body of an Irken behind him.  "Here you go, Nine pence."  

            "Throw 'im in the cart," Miss Bitters mumbles.

            The body stars to talk.  "I'm not dead."

            "Wot was that?"  Miss Bitters sways her snakelike head next to the bodies.

            "Nothing.  Here's your nine pence."

            The body once again talks.  "But I'm not dead…"

            Miss Bitters makes a face.  "'E says 'e's not dead…"

            "Oh he'll be dead soon enough.  He's very short."

            "I can't take him like that.  The textbook says not too.  THE TEXTBOOK DOES NOT LIE!  EVER!!!"  Miss Bitters shrieks a bit hysterically.

            "Well, when's your next round?"  Tallest Purple says while munching on some curly fries, the "dead" Irken kicking a bit.

            "I feel tall!"

            "Well you're not.  And you're not fooling anybody."

            Miss Bitters looks at Purple.  "The next round is Thursday.  Your chance for redemption."

            "I'm growing!  I think I'm growing!"  The Irken sings happily, trying to wriggle free.

            "Look, isn't there anything you can do?  I can't wait 'til Thursday…" Purple says a bit impatiently.  Miss Bitters looks around, then swiftly smacks the Irken upside the head with a "How to Skin a Moose" guidebook.  Purple throws the limp body onto the cart and dusts off his claws.  "Thank you."  

            Zim comes trotting through the town with Gir following him, banging on his robotic head to make the clop-clop sound of a horse.  His crown is flopping loosely over his antennae.  All of the peasants look at Zim.  Purple's jaw drops.  Miss Bitters narrows her eyes.  "Who is 'e?"

            Noodle boy leaps out of the doorway and shrieks, "HE IS THE GREEN HAMSTER OF DOOM!  THE RADIOACTIVE MONKEY NUT!  EAT MY BANANAS?!?!?!  EEKEEK!!!!  FEEL THE WRATH OF THE SINGY SONGY PEOPLE!!!!"

            "KILL IT!"  Somebody shoots Noodle Boy and his head explodes.  He starts to scream again, "YOU SHOOT MY PENIS!!  ARGH!"

            Purple just blinks and turns back to Miss Bitters.  "That must be the Almighty Shortest."

            "What makes you say that?"

            "He don't 'ave shit all o'er him.  And he's short…so very…very short…"

GAH!  Miss Bitters was SO OOC it wasn't even funny…BLEGH.  Oh well.  Sorry this chapter was so short.  I have a feeling this will be a REEEEEEEAL long story.  LoL…fun to write though!  Anyways…I GO DRAW NOW!  WHY?!?!?!  CUZ I WANT TOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


End file.
